The final word on “Loonytarians

 

 

(I found this a few years ago and saved it. Good thing, because the original is gone off the web it seems. I don’t even remember who the author was, but, whomever it was he was brilliant and funny. Enjoy!)

The Looneytarians

Libertarians are just radical Right-wingers who have not one care for anything or anyone other than themselves. They are mostly asocial computer nerds who have spent the major portion of their lives sitting in their bedrooms wishing someone liked them.

As children they spent most of their time in their rooms thinking about themselves. Ostracized by their peers in adolescence for being geeks, goobs and nobs, they kept to their bedrooms thinking even more about themselves. After years of being shut in their room furnished with only empty crates of Clearasil to sleep on, and nothing to eat but pizzas and Frito Lay products, local health departments kept them quarantined because their acne became so bad they were leaving trails like snails whenever they were let out. Having little to do but fiddle with their computers and talking their macho man gun talk, their teenage rebellion stage became a life long endeavor, and ultimately they became the driving force of the Libertarian Party.

So be careful who you jump in bed with politically, for the Libertarian Party is primarily about anarchy, guns, drugs, the militia movement, an ear bleeding hate of liberals and at its very core, a personal and political selfishness transcending anything witnessed on this Earth since Urg, in cave 25, holding the rest of his tribe at bay with a pointy stick, ate an entire Mammoth all by himself.


The Libertarian Party

To understand what a Libertarian is, fill the mold with the intellectual racism of Charles Murray, the political extremism of Ron Paul, and the nature of Timothy McVeigh.

Many are confused over the word libertarian. It is really quite simple. The word without capitalization can be associated with the Eighteenth Century libertine philosophy or with the present civil libertarian associated with the ACLU, but once you capitalize it, it refers to the Libertarian Party and becomes an entirely different animal.

Watching their conventions on C-SPAN over the years, the visual experience caused me to wonder if perhaps they had a unspoken rule that every delegate must look like they own a Harley and bring at least one computer nerd along. It’s a pretty simple matter, basically it’s about caring for nothing at all, whatsoever, about anything but your money, your guns and your absolute inborn right to your money and your guns. They have not one lick of concern about society or anyone in it, proved conclusively by their incessant screaming not about fewer taxes but no taxes, not about decriminalization of some drugs but legalization of all drugs, and not about less gun control, but no gun controls.

No personal income tax whatsoever is at the top of their party platform. My speech on this issue is real short: If you don’t want to pay taxes pack your bags pal. Take a fantasy ride to the only place without taxes, Thunderdome.

Second on their platform is the full legalization of all drugs including heroin, cocaine, crack and crank. The numbers of people who would fall into this snow heap would overwhelm every city in this country to an extent never before experienced. Within months there would be literally millions of kids and screwed up nitwits perceiving existence only as where and when their next line, puff or injection was coming from. Tens of millions more would be buying and trying cocaine within weeks; the hopeless lower class, the bored middle class, college students, the sometime partiers and horny dudes using it to get laid, adding a 10% addiction/dependency rate to the millions of afore mentioned kids and nitwits. This would be the beginning of what the Libertarians are after, the destruction of society and overthrow of the United States Government by handgun and assault rifle.

Third on the Libertarian platform is an intense overwhelming gun goonery that makes the NRA look tame. They are Timothy McVeigh.

The leader of the Libertarian Party in the late 80’s and who was instrumental in making it America’s Third Party (also their Presidential candidate at the time) was Ron Paul, a Right-wing Republican congressman from Freeport, Texas and an unyielding Pro-Lifer. In the Spring of 88′ when Pat Robertson lost the Michigan primary and was knocked out of the presidential run, an estimated 200,000 Fundamentalist Robertson followers joined the Libertarian Party ranks.

The biggest floor fights in their conventions have been over abortion, for twenty years it was left blank to keep the party from splitting, but now by a single digit margin they voted to include a pro-Choice statement. Watching this particular fight I finally came to understand. Liberty is not what drives the Libertarian mentality, but rather the base selfishness of Social Darwinism. After all, besides the death penalty and physical incarceration, there could be no greater government intrusion than forcing women to have children they do not want.

Also keep in mind that their defense of such heroic Americans as David Koresh (an insane cop-killing rapist, child molester and arms dealer who said he was God), and Randy Weaver (a cop-killing arms dealer aligned with the Aryan Nations). The attraction to Weaver is not only the guns, but be sure to understand that the Libertarian Party is no friend of the Civil Rights movement.

Take your standard Right-wing lunatic, remove the issues of sex and religion, add a double dose of selfish callous disregard, stir in a gun waving madness putting even the NRA to shame, mix in a seething hatred of the Federal government, toss in a few ship containers of legalized crack and crank and you got Looneytarians.

Ideology: The Libertarian mindset stems from an obsessive adolescent hatred of authority in any manner, the inability to speak or write a sentence without a reference to the 2nd Amendment, and of course the gun toting social and economic anarchy they wish upon the land.

Issues: Top four: The elimination of the IRS and income taxes, dilution of the federal government in lieu of States’ Rights, the full legalization of all drugs, and no gun controls.

Support:The NRA, the Posse Comitatis, most every armed militia in America, The American Spectator, the CATO Institute, Ron Paul (R-TX), Helen Chenowith (R-Idaho) and every conservative who has gone off the edge so far they have come to believe the Republican Party is just a bunch of Marxist liberals.

Abortion: Over 40% of Libertarians are Pro life. Keep in mind what the powerless Federal government they advocate will allow the States to do with this issue. The thing is, they are not “really” Pro-Life.  They are misogynists.  The’re not so much about the rights of the fetus as they are about keeping women “in their place.”

Civil Rights:The civil, equal and human rights women and minorities have gained have been from the Federal Government, without it, many or most would have no vote and would still be bought for dowries or be cotton picking slaves in Alabama. Again, keep in mind what a powerless Federal government will allow the States to do with this issue.

Gay Rights: Where do gays and lesbians go to gain legal redress for the discrimination directed at them? The government. Libertarians may sound tolerant on specific issues in this matter, but again, think what gun toting anarchy will gain the homosexual community.

Environment: No federal regulations. This alone will decimate America to literally look like a Mad Max movie.

Beware:Look what decentralization of federal power has accomplished in Somalia, Lebanon, Rwanda, and the Balkans. Anarchy, religious/ethnic civil war and genocide.

Long ago as an acne-faced kid without a clue, I read Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) one summer and became a true believer. The government was all bad, all that mattered was the individual’s right to market what they pleased at any price they wished and to make as much money as possible without any government interference. Nothing else mattered in a capitalistic system, the political parties were all the same, the existing ideologies were no different from one another, Left and Right, up and down, and white and black were all equal. I even sent for a WHO IS JOHN GALT?  bumper sticker. But soon my acne cleared and I grew up. Sadly, Libertarians have not as yet made that transition.

Fourteen Signs That Your Loved Ones May Be A Libertarian

The Libertarian Party is much like pornography, trying to find any redeeming social value in it is problematic.

1) Do they refer to Rush Limbaugh and Tom DeLay as liberals?

2) Did they spend most of their youth shut in their bedrooms sitting on empty boxes of Clearasil in front of a computer?

3) Do you consider them loners with no friends to speak of?

4) Do they fair poorly with the opposite sex?

5) Have the words “statist” and “statism” been added to their rhetoric?

6) Have they reduced the first Ten Amendments to the Constitution to two: The Second and the Tenth?

7) Do you ever hear them say “States’ Rights yesterday, States’ Rights today and States’ Rights forever?”

8) Are you beginning to see magazines like Soldier of Fortune, Guns & Ammo, The American Spectator, CATO Instituteposition papers and travel brochures from Western Montana or Northern Idaho in their rooms?

9) Do they seem to have no concern for others, society, or even the planet itself?

10) Have you noticed that their rhetoric and writings include the words; I, me, my or mine at least twice per sentence?

11) Do they rant on often about the ATF, the UN, Black Helicopters, or Janet Reno?

12) Do they spend the major portion of their time talking about or playing with military style weapons?

13) Do they speak fondly of David Koresh, Randy Weaver and Timothy McVeigh?

14) Are they over 30 and still living at home?

If so, dial 911 and ask for help. For a loser is a terrible thing to mind.

Ayn Rand Alive in Hell

Be sure to understand than when you hear the word “statist” or “statism” you are communicating with a Looneytarian; the most selfish sentient species this side of in the Milky Way

While reading Ted Kaczynski’s Manifesto the other day I noticed both the content and the style kept ringing a bell in the back of my mind, finally it hit me, it sounded just like Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.

I have been hearing for years that the Unabomber was a liberal, leftist environmentalist whacko. He is nothing of the sort. This guy is a Right-wing Libertarian, an Ayn Rand anarchist with a militia survivalist bent and a conspiratorial Ludditelunatic with the core conservative philosophy of moving back in time to the good old daze.

“Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality… They want society to solve everyone’s needs for them, take care of them.”

“Modern leftist philosophers tend to dismiss reason, science, objective reality and to insist that everything is culturally relative.”

“Helping black people is not their real goal. Instead, race problems serve as an excuse for them to express there own hostility and frustrated need for power.”

We can get that far in the Unabomber’s Manifesto and assume it’s Newt Gingrich, Tom DeLay or Dick Armey disseminating their daily pile of crap from the Well of the House. Only when we get to this last quote, which has a phrase which promotes nature (which Tom, Dick and Moe would never ever do) are we put in a quandary.

“To avoid this, a movement that exalts nature and opposes technology must take a resolutely anti-leftist stance and must avoid all collaboration with leftists.”

All these quotes from a man Rush Limbaugh for years, to 20 million listeners a day, does his non stop screaming that the Unabomber is a Leftist, Liberal environmentalist whacko. It’s not only amazing what the Pig of Propaganda gets away with, but the free ride he gets while doing it.

Texas Traitor

The Harry Browne for President Libertarian Party brochure boasts in large red letters on the cover page… 100% Reduction in taxes NOW!

Remember Ron Paul? One of those political traitors who quit Congress in the late 80’s (because he thought Republicans were far too liberal), to become the presidential candidate of the Libertarian Party. Indeed, how could Texans pass on a guy who is a rabid pro-Life libertarian (strange as that may seem to those not schooled in LP irrationality) and all around Right-wing bigot?

My favorite from Ron Paul was his accusation that President Clinton is a “cocaine addict” which he says “explains a lot about him.” No Ron, that kind of libel only explains what you are, not what Bill Clinton is. Here are a few of this Libertarian’s views on race:

“If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”

“Opinion polls consistently show that only about 5 percent of blacks have sensible political opinions, i.e., support the free market, individual liberty and the end of welfare and affirmative action.”

“Politically sensible blacks are outnumbered as decent people… I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city [Washington] are semi-criminal or entirely criminal.”

“We don’t think a child of 13 should be held responsible as a man of 23. That’s true for most people, but black males age 13 who have been raised on the streets and who have joined criminal gangs are as big, strong, tough, scary and culpable as any adult and should be treated as such.”

When Paul didn’t get 1% of the vote for President, he worked himself back into the GOP and his old district (remember the national outcry when the videos of prisoners being beaten and attacked by dogs) which is so mud dumb conservative he has a lock on it as long as he lives.

Libertarians on Death Row

27 year old Dean Pleasant, co-leader of the recently arrested Arizona Vipers who “loved my Tommy Gun” got 7000 votes as the Libertarian Party candidate for the Arizona State Senate race in 1994.

George Sibley, a typical neurotic Right-wing loner; obsessed with guns, taxes, Affirmative Action, welfare and the New World Order found sustenance for his paranoid delusions (as have so many others like him) in the Libertarian Party. At an LP meeting in Florida he met Lynda Lyon, an Orlando divorcee. They joined up, and using George’s $20,000 inheritance they launched a Libertarian newsletter. Though they never married, they call themselves husband and wife, refusing on principle to submit to any government licensing, including drivers license and car registration.

Linda, after stabbing her ex-husband in Orlando, was running from felony assault charges when she, Sibley and her 9 year old son, Gordon, stopped in Oplika, Alabama to make a phone call. A women passing by their car in a Wal-Mart parking lot noticed young Gordon in the back seat who knocked on the window mouthing “help me, help me”. The woman approached a nearby police car and asked Police Sgt. Roger Motley to look into it.

Sgt. Motley confronted Sibley at the car asking him for a driver’s license. Sibley refused with a typical paranoid Libertarian rant about the government having no right to tell him what to do. When Motley told him to move away from the car, Sibley drew on the officer and fired as Motley, unholstering his weapon, ran to the patrol car to call for help. Before he was able to do so, Lynda came on the scene and emptied a 14 round clip from her 9mm into the car and the officer who died on the scene.

Sibley and Lyon are now on death row in Alabama for the 1993 slaying. They are fighting the conviction by publicizing their plight through public relations literature to Libertarian and militia groups and appealing their case regarding a “hidden” 1819 constitutional amendment they say does not allow lawyers or licensed officials to serve in public office. Of course no such thing was ever ratified, and it wouldn’t affect their case even if it had. Looneytarians.

Lynda Lyon who has gained quite a bit of publicity as a woman on death row expresses no guilt or remorse for killing officer Motley. This is yet another example of why capital punishment is wrong. We need these yokels around to play their appeal games for the next 50 years to remind us of just how seriously foul Libertarians really are.

The GOP Dilemma

“The most common perspective of the brand of politics dominating the Net is one of radical libertarianism,” Wired magazine.

The Republican Party is now fractured into three pieces: The old guard, that somewhat moderate group who historically shills for the wealthy (think of Bob Dole), the Religious Right who want God rather than Reason to sort it all out (think of Pat Robertson), and the Libertarians who want social and economic anarchy (think a mix of Steve Forbes and Timothy McVeigh).

I’m not sure what it is exactly, perhaps living in Texas I have become so accustomed to the Religious Right it falls right off me. Or maybe it’s that their forays into reason and logic are so absurd that I find them more entertaining than dangerous. But whatever it happens to be, they are so transparent I believe even this nitwit nation will wise up to that silliness sooner or later. The Old Guard GOP which holds our economy hostage has held power fairly consistently over the years and can be dealt with reasonably which directs my concern towards the Libertarian Right.

Libertarianism is the movement of the times and it’s going lickity-split down that Social Darwinist road where only the most intelligent, educated, motivated, wealthy, connected and well armed get ahead, or even survive for that matter. Its intellectual base is so selfish, so self centered and so callous that it makes Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell seem altruistic.

All three factions of the GOP have one issue in common, and it is the issue. That we who have the highest standard of living in the world with the lowest tax rate (and percentage of taxes to GNP), are horrendously, illegally, and immorally over taxed. It’s this base selfishness over taxes that overrides all else in America (other than the occasional spikes in mindless patriotism) that has sped us down this conservative road we have been traveling now for a generation. The bridge to the 21st Century has come to stink more of fascism than democracy.

The alignment between the pro drug secular Libertarians and the theocratic Religious Right seems strange, why would these seemingly divergent philosophies pull the exact same levers in the voting booths each year? It is a matter of any means to their central ends: The destruction of liberalism, the termination of liberal democracy, the eradication of pluralism and mixed economies and the end of the welfare state which are the only protections a people have against that pure capitalism conservatives of all stripes are so hell-bent at arriving at. The very soul of the conservative ideology is the visceral anger they suffer at having to contribute to the society they live in.

Wired Magazine said 30% of the people on the net are Libertarians. Polls show that the number of people claiming to be Libertarians has risen from 2% to 15% just in the past five years (though less than 1% choose to waste their vote on Libertarian Party candidates). I estimate that every one of those 99% who do not vote for the Libertarian Party vote for the most extreme conservatives they can find.

Remember too, the Libertarian think tank, the CATO Institute is the prime mover in conservative recruitment on college campuses. It is there that they propagandize and grossly overstate the students probability of not collecting Social Security, instill a rabid hatred of liberals who have stolen their old age pensions, and organize searches for instances of political correctness they can exaggerate and pander to the mainstream press. Libertarians hate liberals far more than do either conservatives or the Religious Right; after all, it is what the guns are for.

Questionnaire from a Libertarian

Conservatives only want to go back in time a couple of hundred years, Libertarians want to take us back about 100,000 years.

Recently a Libertarian questionnaire was spammed (emailed to Hell and back) over the net. I put on my Conservatively Correct pajamas and submitted the form back to the sender. The questions are real, the answers are mine.

Please fill out the form below and return to: lp@@aol.com

What does affirmative action mean to you?

A way for Negroes to get my job.

Do you believe that any particular groups of people are entitled to special privileges. If so, which groups?

White males who built this nation.

Two people apply for the same legal position in a small town law office. One is Caucasian and the other African American. Both graduated from the same class of the same college. Both have impeccable court records and similar job experience. Both left their former jobs on their own in order to move their families to a more rural area.

A) Who do you think will receive the position? The Negro every time.

B) Do you think that most people are hired because of their job qualities or their race.Because they are Negroes.

C) Who will receive the job if both were women?The Negro welfare queen!

If you applied for a job should your race be a factor in the decision to hire you? No, once they see me at the interview they will know I am white.

If you were the owner of a corporation would your priorities be to hire a person that has the best job skills or would you sacrifice those skills in order to hire someone who would fill a void in the existing ethnic mix of the company?I don’t hire Negroes, it’s my right as an American and if the federal government says I must, then the fascist Nazi gun grabbing government will see the bad end of my .88 caliper Negro-blow-a-wayer.

Do you think that race should be left out of employment applications? Yes, all that is needed is a picture; if pictures were required then the Citadel wouldn’t have had the chick problem they did.

Do you think it is fair to hire someone because the company is required by law to fill a quota? Absolutely not! That’s communism!

Look over your answers. Do you feel this society can achieve equality through affirmative action?AA is racism. How can we go further with Negroes in charge of anything? Look at Africa for crying out loud, they’re still eating each other!

What is your race and your age? I’m WHITE and old enough to understand the problem, Negroes.

Do you think you are treated equally in society? No, Negroes get everything.

Remember, you can skip any questions that you would not like to answer. Thank you for participating!! Don’t forget to add any opinions or information that you feel necessary.

Thank you for having me! And remember, this entire issue is what we Republicans and Libertarians are most about, STATES RIGHTS! This simple concept will correct all the wrongs all the Negroes have heaped upon all of us. STATES RIGHTS YESTERDAY, STATES RIGHTS TODAY, STATES RIGHTS FOREVER!

What is really sad about all this is that I answered these questions in as lunatic a sarcastic mode as I could muster, and then saw most of the same answers (using the code words rather than the real words) all over the net given in all seriousness. And what’s even sadder concerns the largest demographic of the net, the young.

Prediction

The attraction of being a Libertarian is not only getting to boast a callous selfishness beyond even that of conservatives, but they get to hate twice as many people as either Democrats or Republicans get to hate.

Remember Charles Murray? The cool guy who wrote The Bell Curve, that book saying that as blacks are inherently stupid, let’s save ourselves some grief by not bothering with them anymore. By the way, his previous book Losing Ground said the same thing. Well I’ve been seeing Chuck floating around on the TV Pundit trail pushing his new book,What it Means to be a Libertarian. This has led me to believe that Charles Murray is after the Libertarian Party’s nomination for President of the United States.

I have to thank Murray for helping to make Libertarianism far more clear to me on an intellectual level. The argument he most often finds himself up against is that if indeed, the government did stop all regulatory action as he wishes it to do, what then of all those hurt by such a policy. He likes to speak allegorically, metaphorically and crapologically, but what he is saying comes across as clear as an uncurved bell, let the competition of the free market work it all out. If a lot of planes crash on one airline people will go to another. If one meat packing plant ships tons of rancid meat after a time they will go out of business. If a drug company adds Eboli to toothpaste the courts will punish them after the fact. It’s the same with the environment. If Mobil floods the Chesapeake Bay with oil and it starts on fire they will get fined and people will go to Exxon stations. If Montana kills all the buffalo, antelope, and Spotted Owls coming out of Yellowstone Park, they will get yelled at. You get the idea. It’s always an after the fact process. Thousands, perhaps millions of people suffer or die and it’s all too bad and Chuck may feel sad about it but the market will straighten it all out in the end.

Not only is Libertarianism one of the most obvious forms of Social Darwinism since the fall of the Third Reich, but it’s that classic example of the ends justifying the means. Also I have witnessed not only Murray, but also many others moving the same direction. Many conservatives become so consumed by AM Hate radio they keep moving further and further to the Right until such hatred builds so high they finally go off their Right-wing rockers and arrive at the last stop there at the end of the political spectrum, the Libertarian Party.

One last point I would like to make on Mr. Murray. He is the perfect example of that snot nosed elitist complaint we hear so many conservatives accuse liberals of being. He reeks of it even more than Billy “Jackboot” Bennett. It’s like a lofty presentation of talking down to the masses who don’t understand what’s going on. His slow delivery portends him to be on some very much higher intellectual plane than those who would disagree with him, to oppose his ideas is to admit one is stupid.

Anarchy will sift the chaff from the fruit. And what so many people like Murray do not seem to comprehend, is that they and theirs could be the first pieces of chaff blown away.